I’ve worked with many couples who ultimately made the difficult decision to end their relationship. Even after we had given our best efforts to repair it.

And when that happens, the work changes.

Divorce can be incredibly painful for everyone involved, regardless of the circumstances. The way you communicate in divorces matters, especially when you have children.

Over the years, I’ve helped couples shift from trying to repair their marriage to redefining their relationship as coparents. Many of the same skills that help couples build healthier relationships, such as emotional regulation, clear communication, appropriate boundaries, conflict management, and accountability, become equally important when learning how to separate well.

The goal is different.

We are no longer trying to save the marriage. We are trying to protect what comes next.

This work isn’t for everyone. And it can be HARD. It requires two people who are willing to manage their own emotions, resist the temptation to continually re-litigate the marriage, and make intentional decisions about how they want to move forward.

But when children are involved, every effort parents make to reduce conflict, tension, and dysfunction matters. Your marriage may be ending. And your family is changing, not disappearing. You will continue to share children, milestones, school events, celebrations, challenges, and many years of parenting decisions.

After having many, many conversations with couples about the complications that arise during and after divorce, I realized there were several conversations I was helping people navigate again and again.

That’s why I created 4 Critical Conversations for an Amicable Divorce with Children*.